my saturday in pictures

breathe with a full chest

i am more about posting pretty pics tonight than i am writing words. iespecially pretty pictures of pretty clothes! (i am a clothes whore). it's a beautiful almost-spring day in california. the kitchen is clean, the cats are fed, and here's a little bit about what is living in the mind of pamh:

*2 of my dearest friends had their first baby girl today. libby rose. she is the cutest thing ever. i am so excited for them. they are both are so adorable so it is just logical they would make an adorable baby. i have been thinking about babies lately and whether having a baby someday is something i want. i have always thought i have, but the closer i get to 40, the more i wonder if it is ever going to happen. my conclusion? it's not a decision i am going to make today.

*day 1 of my eating healthy was shot all to hell in less than an hour. donna brought in all kinds of cheese and bread from her trip to bodega bay, and that was all it took. the garlic was the best ever. i may be the first person to actually gain weight the first day of their diet.

*i am thinking about taking some day trips on the weekends. the weather is starting to be so gorgeous, and i am so full of cabin fever.

*my new fave food: onion bagel, avocado, tomato, bean sprout, and alfalfa. yum!

*i am thinking about taking a yoga class. there is this cool studio i have been researching online. i have been interested in doing this ever since i came out here, but for some reason, i just haven't taken the time or the money to just do it. this is pamh taking charge of her health. step 1: stay away from the cheese. step 2: take a yoga class.

*i am going to start studying some meditation exercises. again, this is something i have been wanting to do for awhile. i seriously need to learn how to take some quiet time. and breathe. deeply.

happy tuesday!!

happy happy joy joy

hard to believe it is already march. hard to believe this is my first blog of this new year. i am seriously feeling spring in the air. i love this time of year. i love it so much that i usuay start wearung my spring clothes way too early. i also do the same thing at the end of the summer when fall is on the horizon. i sense a pattern here.

here are some of the random updates of my life:

*i went to see swingin' with sinatra yesterday at the slo little theatre. it is the first time i have been there since how to succeed wrapped at the end of december. it felt good. it was great to see everybody, and the show kicked ass.

*it has been a full year now since i spent 2 days in the ER and ended up having my right ovary removed in april. i have been fighting my insurance company most of this time trying to get them to pay the ER bills. i lost. it sucks.

*i have been sucked deeply into the world of reality tv. my favorites thus far: tori and dean, keeping up with the kardashians, khoe and kourtney take miami, kendra, and bill and giuliana. i really should be concerned about myself. i'm not.

*i am not going to be able to go home for christmas eve this year. i am actually going home a week earlier so at least i will get to be home some for the holidays. i have very mixed emotions about it. i have never not spent a christmas eve without my brother and sister-in-law. i have looked forward to this one day of the year for as long as i can remember. i am trying not to dwell on it because after all, christmas is still almost a year away. but i have to admit, when i think about it, it hurts. it was so shitty the way it all came down and really not worth writing about since it will just make me angry again. *sigh* maybe i will go to midnight mass this year since that is always something i have always wanted to do.

*one of my really good friends is having her first baby boy next month. her baby shower was yesterday. i am so sad that i am not able to be there. it's hard being on the other side of the country, so far away from everybody in my life that i love. but i really do love living in california and love this new chapter of my life. it gets easier the longer i am here.

*i am re-decorating the apartment. i *finally* put some pics up on the walls. when i first moved

here, i had no intention of staying in the apartment this long. almost a year and a half later, i am still here, and for the time being, it is the most convenient place for me. i absolutely adore being only 5 minutes from work, and this apartment is nicer and cheaper than a lot of other places in the area i could be living. i have not updated "my look" since i first started living on my own. it's kind of fun. i just got a new comforter for the bed and am going to hang up some curtains next weekend (the cats have destroyed the blinds). other items on my "wish list": a new mattress, a bookshelf, this adorable chair i have been lusting over at pier one, a slip cover for the couch, and a small table for the bedroom. the key is color. i am all about bright colors right now. happy happy joy joy colors.

*i am thinking i really need to do something with my spare time. something to help others. it occurs to me that i can live a pretty self-centered existence. i mean, re-decorating my apartment is fun and something i want to do for me, but i just feel i shoud do something outside of myself. first step: volunteering for the no-kill cat shelter. i have a lot of love for my little furry children, and i think i have enough left in me to spread some to the less fortunate.

*diet time again. i have gained so much weight that i am just a little sick of myself. above and

beyond that, i just want to be healthy. *sigh*

*i am planning on getting a a new tattoo

happy sunday!

always keep a cat around

it is a cozy evening.

i have already taken to my bed, i have two cats who are working hard at being asleep by my side (actually, one is partially on my foot), and the other is probably dozing under the christmas tree. i am still trying to figure out if i feel good or not. no vomiting, eating slowly but surely, no fever for 48 hours, but still kinda ugh.

i have gotten nothing done around the house. i am no closer to finishing my christmas shopping than i was this time on sunday. but i have a list. a list to keep me straight. a list and a plan. all is well.

here is what else is on my mind today:

*i am re-reading around the world with auntie mame. it is just entertaining. i have not been much on a t.v kick the last few days, but i have been reading a lot. i did manage to get caught up on the good wife. it never disappoints. good stuff.

*speaking of t.v., i have been semi -sucked into the world of reality with keeping up with the kardashians. laugh and call it shallow all you want (i have the said the same things), but it is just mindlessly entertaining for me. so there you go.

*returning to work tomorrow. ugh. i enjoy my work, but i am never opposed to having time off. it would have been nicer to have three days off from work to clean house and christmas shop then to have threee days off to lay around and not feel good. ah well. it will feel great to get out of the house.

*cats are actually great to have around the house when you are sick. mine were so well-behaved during the worst of it all. it has been as i have been emerging on the other side that they have completely lost their minds. they are so sweet right now, snuggled up with each other next to me, i have almost forgotten about any irritation they caused by destroying my christmas decorations. almost.

*i think i have decided on getting a new comforter in some shade of purple. not exactly a lavender. my room is going to be the first room i start redecorationg so i am really excited. the possibilities are endless!

*the cat who was just so sweet not even thirty seconds ago is now into everything he can find. example: the cute little santa made out of pantyhose, felt, and foam that me mom made probably thirty years ago. he even has cute little glasses and a beard. wtf?

*putting up the christmas tree was hard this year. actually the hardest that it has been since my mom died. there are so many memories on that tree. some of those ornaments have been around since before i was born. a few became casualities of the cats this year. bittersweet.

*i am going to vist my friend's grave with his widow on the one year anniversary of his death. i was printing out some pics for her the other day. again, bittersweet.

*i had to eat my words. my friend's father-in-law.... god, i have known him since i was a kid, got married friday night. i never thought i would see the day he would re-marry. i am entertained by the visions of the conductor suits (complete with ruffles) my friend said the guys had to wear. i am dying to see the pics for the entertainment value alone. seriously, you cannot make this shit up.

*i could seriously go for a burger right now. i think my stomach would hate me forever.

that's all for this installment!

a dozen sugar cookies please

i am sick. like with the flu. the actual flu.

it came out of nowhere. i had worked the saturday afternoon matinee and then rushed to downtown san luis obispo to finish some last minute shopping. my throat felt a little scratchy. i went to dinner with a friend, and my stomach just suddenly didn't feel well. by the time i got back to the theatre, all hell had broken loose in my stomach. i made the drive home (up the grade, in the rain) and proceeded to think about death for the next 12 hours. my friend shanon came over to try to help, but then she was sick, too! we seriously looked like something out of a horror movie. i am starting to emerge on the other side of it all but still not feeling at my top form. ugh!

i am wondering where has all my holiday spirit gome this year? everything has just seemed so forced this year, so out of place, so... not right. part of me felt like it was because something was going to happen, and then the ickies hit me this weekend. i hope that is all it was. christmas is absolutely my favorite time of the year, and i cannot think of one year in the past (except the first christmas after my mom died) that i have not welcomed it with open arms. weird.

the cats are destroying my christmas tree. i actually caught madeline wrestling with the boys from her position in the middle of the tree. they have been playing kick ball with my ornaments. mommy gets sick for a few days, and the whole house goes ass over elbows.

it's rainy here. i love it. we go for so many months without even a hint of room that this is a nice change.

going home next week to spend the holidays with the fam. i'll actually be a lot more excited about it when i have the christmas shopping done and the gifts stuck in the mail. christmas eve with the reverend and the VIP is always pleasant and relaxing especially now that it is just the three of us. we still laugh about the christmas that richard heater was watching women mud wrestling on tv in my living room on christmas eve. when i discovered it, i insisted he turn it off, and then he went to pout in the kitchen. oh yes, christmas has taken a whole new meaning now that it is just the three of us. no scenes, no tension.... just a pleasant evening with two of my favorite people in the world.

i wish i felt like baking cookies. i wish i felt like eating cookies. damn the flu!

that's all for now. this blog was boring, i must admit, but those are the updates in the life of me for the day.

... and giving thanks

turkey greetings from the west coast! here is my list of things i am thankful for on this beautiful (yet early) thanksgiving morning:

*bad cats who have me up early to enjoy this morning

*diet coke runs to mcd's. honestly, there is nothing that soothes the soul better than a large one (especially when it only costs $1)

*starbucks peppermint white chocolate mocha before rehearsal or a show. ah!

*hell week being over

*spending a warm thanksgiving at the vineyard

*mini pumpkin pie from albertsons

*my new gift certificate for a massage

*being in california for one whole year! what a year. i am still so very thankful i made the decision to move here. the adventures keep coming!

*yesterday at work being over

*good christmas music already on my CD player

*my new pink boots which were my early birthday gift to myself

*the promise of knots landing christmas episodes this holiday season by the tree

*bad cats who are now rolling a pen across the floor

*a clean house (which hopefully it will be by the end of today)

*carl's jr taco salad

*the weekend schedule for work being complete

*the anticpation of spending the holidays with my family and friends

*mornings with frost on the windows

*bad cats who i plan to give up for adoption if they don't stop it! this morning


have a wonderful day!!

falling into the holidays

october just slipped right past me without a blog. i am spending a lovely sunday doing laundry and starting to get this house in order for the holidays. here is what else has been on my mind lately:

*i spent last weekend at home in KY visiting family and friends. it was absolutely wonderful. i never had a free moment the time i was there. i hung out with the kids, went to a scary (?) halloween party, saw robot boy (or same name like that), ate a lot of candy, went to the titanic exhibit, ate some pie, went to see the tragicall history of doctor faustus with the reverend, had dinner with the reverend, caught up with my sister-in-law, went to see an old friend, and generally had an all around good time. i love fall in KY, and the leaves were especially beautiful, so it was a great time just to be there. i am looking forward to going back for the holidays.

*speaking of fall, i have decided i love the fall and winter in california the most. right now, it still feels enough like fall to me with the leaves changing and the chilly mornings/evenings but warm days. i love it.

*wireless internet rocks my world. after 3 weeks of internet catastrophes, i finally am back in cyber world. i gotta tell ya, i am missing that mobile broadband connection not even a little bit.

*i am going to redecorate my space after the first of the year. i already have my eye on a couch and a chair from the world market. it's time. i have not updated my look in all these years so it will be a fun experience. i'll just have to take it a step at a time. first step: buy a new mattress for god's bed.

*i am going to be working the crew for show at the san luis obispo little theatre this fall. how to succeed in business without really trying. i am really excited if even just a touch exhausted about the 20 shows i will be working between now and christmas. mostly excited. i think it will be a great experience, i love this show (god bless michele lee), and i am hoping it will open some doors to meet some new friends.

*i watched marley and me this morning which i knew was going to be a big mistake (spoiler alert: the dog dies). i cried like a baby and had visions of having to carry off my own gang to the vet when the time comes. speaking of my gang, one is hissing as i type. she has been in rare form this morning. marley may have been the world's worst dog, but i have the world's worst cats. examples to prove my point: the broken wall piece that covers the plug in the spare bedroom, the appearance of a cat on the side of my bathtub as i was trying to shower this morning, the condition of the blinds in the back bedrooms, the early morning risings, the pissy fits, the cat on fire, etc. etc. i love every minute of it. these little furry creatures have wound their way into my life and heart. maybe i should write a memoir about them and make a lot of money.

*i am going back to school. i haven't decided if this will happen in january or next fall. i just know it is happening, and now it is just a matter of figuring out the logistics of it. this has been a dream of mine for a long time, and i am excited about it. i don't want to talk a lot about it yet because i still have to iron out some details in my own mind. more to come later.

*current music loves: the weepeies, damien rice, sondre lerche, joshua james, william fitzsimmons, hanson (always always), and foy vance. i made a kick ass moxed CD yesterday.

*i am in a really good place right now. i am working on some stuff in my life, i am spending time with friends, and i am really looking forward to the holidays. it's the time of year i feel like anything is possible. i am all about getting out my christmas CD's and watching the traditional christmas things (including all the knots christmas episodes). i plan to do it and have a good damn time.

that's all for now. happy sunday!!