the wonder of it all

random observations for today:

*monday night must be a happening night for laundry. i swear to bob, there were so many people in the laundry room. i feel like there must be some deep-seated psychological reason for this, or maybe people are just schlubby like me and didn't do it over the weekend. hmmm.

*parkfield, california. earthquake capital of the world. i spent the better part of the morning there on saturday. it was one of those random trips that i just love. this is the second time i have taken a trip out to see where the san andreas fault runs. the last trip was to the carrizo plain about 2 years ago. it was an amazing experience. there is this stillness and calmness that i cannot even desscribe. it just struck me the magnitude of it all. hard to believe that something that appears so peaceful on the surface could have the power to cause such destruction. wow.

*speaking of parkfield, seeing the fault was the best part of it all. might i add the service and the food at the restaurant sucked. the waitress was so rude, i wanted to smack her in her face. the food was horrific. and then the bikers showed up. who knew so much was going on in parkfield?

*i have three seperate dvd collections i need to work on watching: knots landing, dallas, and 90210. it's so good to be me.

*speaking of knots landing, the tv land awards were last night. it's always fun to see the cast of knots reunited. when i saw ugly doctor boyfriend flash across the screen, i was reminded that i actually saw him in person. good times.

*i am concerned about myself that i have not been able to figure out how to get the cable box, the dvd player, and the VCR all hooked together at the same time.

*my house is disturbingly disgusting. there. i said it.

*i am finally getting my veins taken care of on wednesday! one of my friends works at a place who does the laser vein treatments. i have this vein on my leg that has bothered me since i was 23 years old. i mean, i have had some serious esteem issues with it. i have said for years i wanted to do this, and now i am finally sucking it up and doing it. i am actually going to wear shorts this summer! if you know me at all, you know that has rarely happened for a long time. it feels good to finally do this, and i was pleasantly surprised that it is not nearly as expensive as i thought it would be.

*i actually had a full-fledged moment where i missed my dad last week. let me tell you, that almost never happens. my friend just lost her uncle, and i don't even remember exaclty what i said at that moment that triggered something in me to miss my dad. it passed quickly. that pretty much sums up our relationship which is a little sad. it was so dysfunctional that i barely muster up any sadness about him being gone. do i feel guilty? not really. i just wish that things weren't that way, but they were, so there you go.

*i was thinking about my mom this weekend. i was thinking that how i wish she were alive so that she could come and visit me in california. she would love coming out here. but then if she were still alive, i don't know if i would have ever come out here. maybe i would have. i'll never know.

*i bought a tower fan for my room. the first night i had it, the cats lay in front of it and stared at it in awe. it doesn't take much to grab a cat's attention.

*i think i need a new mattress. god's bed is just not as comfortable as it used to be. sad times.

happy monday night! go pens!

emerging from the fog

i know, i know. it has been awhile since i have blogged. no specific reason except that i am just lazy. there it is. here's a compilation of the random stuff going on with me:

~i have had 3 seperate discussions in the last week with people about death and dying. seriously, i am starting to think i should consider hospice at some point later in my career. it's funny to me how i think about death now that i have gone through the grieving process with losing people in my life. i have come to realize how much death is as natural as birth and in some ways almost as beautiful. i know that sounds weird, but you would know what i am talking about it if you have been there with someone in the last moments of their life. there is such a peace even in the sadness that i cannot explain. i hope i am fortunate enough when my time comes that i am able to control how it happens. meaning, if i had been sick that i could decide where i wanted to be and who i wanted to be with and where i wanted my ashes scattered when it was all over. i am in no hurry to check out of here, but i don't have the fear of it that i once did.

~i am officially a california girl. i have the plates on my car and recieved the license in the mail to prove it. i even have the little pink dot that shows i'm an organ donor (thanks, larry). making it official was harder for me than i realized it was going to be. as long as those KY plates were still on the car, i still felt like i was visiting. i knew i couldn't really be a part of where i am living now if i didn't just suck it up and take that step. i am glad i did, and all is well. i love it here.

~people suck.

~my baby girl has spring fever. thank gawd she has a bush fetish. the 2 seconds she stops to admire the shrubs is long enough for me to grab her ass and throw her back into the house. i know if she could escape her motive would be to find an unsuspecting bird and rip it limb from limb. kind of disturbing.

~i made a new friend my age in california. we are having a time. i met her mother for the first time thursday night. she's an atheist, and i am somewhere in the middle. we drank a little too much, talked about religion, watched survivor, and then she passed out. just let that one all sink in. anyway, my friend and i are heading to big sur today. she is going to drive up highway 1 so i can take pictures. i will tell you now, the part that i have driven by myself is absolutely frightening and wonderful all at the same time.

~i have done so much shopping lately. i discovered i have actually lost a whole size! no wonder i have had such a hard time getting pants to fit me. anway, i have been in old navy so much, i am starting to think it is my second home,

~i am going to see elton john in oakland in november! too.cool.for.words.

~i spent easter morning at a catholic chapel way out in the country. it was beautiful. there is just something about getting up that early on a sunday morning to do anything. it was a neat experience. makes me wish a little bit i was catholic.

~speaking of church, i really am considering checking out some churches here. there are a few that look pretty interesting. i finally think i am at a point where some of the sting is gone. i was listening to some of my old church cd's last night, and i realized jesus and god are a part of who i am. it doesn't matter that my thoughts toward religion have changed, but the most important thing hasn't. i don't feel like i need to find a church to reaffirm that, but i don't think it would be a bad thing either. i'll just see where it goes.

~warm weather is finally here (and hopefully will stay!) in california. i am excited about the possibility of all kinds of road trips this summer. i love spring time. i feel like i am emerging from a fog that i have been all winter. everything just feels new and bright again.

~season 2 knots landing has officially arrived in the heater household. i actually screamed out loud when i discovered the missing gary/karen scene in the first episode. it was like watching a whole new show. i have not gotten too far, but i am still having a good time.

~lucy has found her way back into my life after a 3 week hiatus. she's back with a vengence. i might actually hate her.

~i was the head girl at work this week while jean was in anaheim with the mouse. i did a good job, but i will be glad to see her back on monday. arguing about the damn field charts on friday afternoon or scmoozing with people who are pissed off at 9 am in the morning is really just not my cup of tea.

~OMG, i got sucked into twilight. my suspicions were confirmed that it really isn't that great, but i am reading it with one of my friends. it's a little mindless fun which is sometimes a good thing so there you go.

~i am actually contemplating going to a single's mingle next weekend. let that one sink in.

that's all for now! happy saturday!